Before I Fall
by lovecamedown
Summary: "She didn't understand how they'd even ended up here; she hated him and he hated her—that's what made them work. But somehow, kissing him worked too. She'd forgotten how they'd gotten themselves in to this situation of needing to kiss each other to feel alive." /Multi-chapter Peddie and full-length / A little AU.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House of Anubis or any of the characters related to it.

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><p><span><strong>Short Prologue.<strong>

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><p>"Patricia, wait up…"<p>

"Oh, for goodness' sake, just leave me alone." Patricia growled to Eddie, not bothering to look back. "I told you not to follow me."

"But I need to talk to you."

Patricia reached for her bedroom door handle and turned to face him, scowling harshly. "We have nothing to talk about. Now leave. Me. Alone."  
>And with that, she walked in to her room, slamming the door behind her without giving Eddie a chance to respond.<p>

She threw herself down on to her bed, face first, and sighed angrily. She hadn't thought to check if anyone was in the room and when she opened her eyes, one of her roommates (and best friend), Joy, was standing next to her with raised eyebrows.  
>"Another fight with Eddie?" She asked, already knowing what the answer was going to be.<p>

"Yeah." Patricia mumbled.

"There's a shock," Joy said sarcastically, sitting down on the edge of her own bed. "You two _really_ hate each other."

And then Patricia closed her eyes, turning her head to face the other way. That was just the thing; they _didn't_ hate each other. She wished for all the world that she could hate him, and she wished she was able to express that she didn't hate him. But she wasn't able, and she knew that; she knew that her ability to be honest and open with people had left a long time ago.

Patricia took a deep breath in before replying to her best friend. "Yeah." She said quietly, feeling her eyes sting. She wasn't going to cry. She didn't do tears.

Eddie was annoying, and irritating, and downright stupid. He was stupid for following her every time she stormed off. He was stupid for trying to push her in to talking when all Patricia wanted to do was be silent; and he was irritating when he used that annoying little smirk on her all the time. _All_ the time. It drove her crazy, and she hated it; she didn't want to feel stuff. She just liked to be Patricia, on her own, not needing to depend on anyone.

But then she just had to go and get involved with him and let him near her; let him kiss her, touch her…  
>She'd had a momentary lapse of reason and let him do this stuff. And that, in itself, should have been enough to show him how she really felt. But still, she pushed him away because she didn't want to be attached to anyone. She didn't want to be dependent.<p>

But back then, when all this secret kissing started, if she'd known what she knew now…she wouldn't have played so nonchalant. She wouldn't have acted like she didn't care; like it was just kissing. Like it was just a bit of fun.  
>Because it <em>wasn't<em> just a bit of fun, and it wasn't just kissing. It should have been just kissing, because that's all she'd ever intended it to be. At first, she thought it had been, but she soon realised that it wasn't. And by the time she became scared and realised she didn't want to be attached, it was too late.

Neither of them could even recall why they started this; or _how _they started this.

She wished that she could go back in time and do this all over again. She never meant to get them in to this, and she certainly never expected it to come to anything even close to how she was feeling. A huge part of her wished that he was the one that got away.

But now, she was already in too deep.

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><p><strong>AN: **_*waves awkwardly* hi there!  
>W<em>_hat am I doing, starting yet another multi-chapter story when I already have a few others on the go? I know, I know, I shouldn't really be starting another commitment like that when I can't even update my other stories regularly enough, but hey, I've pretty much already written this whole story so it should be pretty regular! And it's also very different from my other stories. This story is a bit less heavy in terms of angst (as apposed to All This Time), but it's still got a bit of angst in there. Love a bit of angst. _

_Also, please let me know along the way if it gets confusing at all; I wrote this story over a few weeks and I guess even though I had it all worked out in my head, it might not come across as clearly as I would have liked!  
><em>

_This chapter is pretty short, I admit, but it's just the prologue. The chapters will get gradually longer as time goes on. I'm excited about this story...  
><em>

_Do let me know if I should continue? _

_Love :* xxx_


	2. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House of Anubis or any of the characters related to it.

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><p><span><strong>Two weeks earlier<strong>

"So you're not mad at me anymore?" Eddie mumbled against her lips before moving in to kiss her again. Patricia ignored his question. Instead, she kissed him back and backed him against the wall, tangling her hands in his hair. She didn't feel like talking.

His hands were on her waist as she kissed him, and he wrapped them around her waist to bring her closer. They were kissing fast and rushed, almost as if they weren't even concentrating on what they were doing anymore. They were just kissing; just passing time. But it was still fun, and Eddie still couldn't help but feel like it _meant_ something. He hadn't brought it up with Patricia yet, but they'd been sneaking around like this for _two months _now, and he figured they'd have worked something out by now. Maybe they'd have realised their feelings for each other, or maybe they'd have stopped all together. But still, here they were, in the cluttered supply closet in the school basement, kissing like there was no tomorrow; like it was all they wanted to do forever.

And, if Eddie was honest with himself, he wouldn't mind doing this forever.  
>But he didn't know where he stood with Patricia…ever since the beginning, they'd both just assumed that this was a no-strings-attached thing. But now he was thinking it might be more…and he didn't know what to do about it.<p>

"Mm…" Eddie mumbled as her hands sat at the back of his neck and she kissed his jaw line lightly a few times. Wherever her lips went, they seemed to leave a burning trail of sparks; something that hadn't been felt when they'd first started doing this. He wondered if it felt the same for Patricia now, too. When she stopped, he reciprocated and kissed her neck just twice before returning to her lips.

A while later, Patricia pulled away slightly. "We should get back to class soon," she said before kissing him again, and then managing to pull herself away. She looked at him. "Sweetie won't want us to be late again, and I think people are starting to suspect something's going on." She fixed her tie and grabbed her bag and her jacket, about to leave the room, when Eddie put his hand on her arm.

He seemed hesitant and his eyes darted around a bit before he finally looked at her. "Would…uh...would that be so bad?"

"Would _what_ be so bad?"

"You know, if…if people found out about this…"

"This?" Patricia narrowed her eyes at him, moving her arm so he let her go. "_This_ isn't anything. There's nothing for them to know."

Eddie frowned. "But…"

"But nothing," she snapped. "They're not suspicious, because there's nothing to be suspicious about."

"But Patricia, we're sneaking off, _together_, to make out every single lunchtime. And then we come back…_together_. Aren't people bound to get suspicious about _that_?"

She pondered this for a moment, staring at him blankly, and then she pushed the door handle down aggressively. "Fine then, Weasel," she said pointedly, "I'll go, and you wait here for ten minutes to think about how this isn't anything. Deal?" She didn't give him time to answer. Before he could even process what had just happened, she'd stormed out of the room and up the stairs in to the main school.

He shook his head, incredulous.

He didn't know what was going on anymore.

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><p>Patricia walked down the school hallway, completely conscious of the fact that her hair was now a little messed up. Her shirt was a bit off-centre and she tugged on it nervously. As she walked to her next class, she screwed her eyes shut for a second, because she was so frustrated with herself; frustrated with Eddie. They were nothing more than just make-out buddies; they weren't even <em>friends<em>. In fact, they were practically enemies, and that's how people knew them.

People at the school knew them as Patricia and Eddie: the two students who constantly threw insults at each other and had the occasional heated argument. But, little did those people know, Patricia and Eddie had this big secret that was becoming more and more heated as time went on. It wasn't just heated arguments between them now; it was heated kisses. Sneaking off at every opportunity. Getting carried away with each other when they knew they should be elsewhere.

A few times, Patricia had tried to bury that flame in the sand and let it go, but something inside of both of them kept digging it up again. They'd manage a few days without kissing each other but, after that, they collided again.

She didn't understand what was going on.

She didn't understand how they'd even ended up here; she hated him and he hated her—that's what made them work. But somehow, kissing him worked too. She'd forgotten how they'd gotten themselves in to this situation of needing to kiss each other to feel alive.

After every single secret rendezvous at lunchtime, of course they'd go back to glaring at each other and hating each other. Of _course_ they would. Because that's just what they were used to; that's how it always went. She didn't intend on that changing.

They were just kissing; he was an insanely good kisser, and it was all just a physical thing. She didn't feel _that way_ about him. In fact, the very thought of that just made her feel weird.  
><em>They were just kissing.<em> And no one needed to find out about it, because _it_ wasn't _anything_. It wasn't even anything worth the others knowing.

And when Eddie started bringing it up about telling people, it freaked Patricia out. It scared her.

But when Eddie walked in to the classroom fifteen minutes late, and Mr. Sweet asked him where he'd been _and_ why his shirt was un-tucked, he glanced at Patricia and she suddenly felt weird. His eyes came to her for just a split second before he made up some excuse and tucked his shirt in; and she felt an uneasy feeling in her stomach. Uneasy about everyone knowing, and uneasy about the way he'd looked at her. Like it was their first glance ever.

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><p><strong>AN: **_So, here it is - the first official chapter of Before I Fall! I appreciate that it is a little shorter than most of my work usually is, but like I said in the prologue, the chapters will gradually get longer and longer as the story progresses. Also, please let me know if you feel this is hard to understand. There's not much back-story to it, so if you're not following, please don't hesitate to tell me :) _

_I really hope you enjoyed it! _

_Thank you so much for your reviews on the prologue. Do let me know what you thought about this chapter - what you liked and even what you didn't like. Criticism is always welcome, as long as it's useful and you tell me how I can improve it! _

_Love :* xxx_


	3. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House of Anubis or any of the characters together.

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><p>"Get out of my face, Slimeball." Patricia said, not even bothering to look up from her homework.<p>

"You seemed to want me in your face quite a lot earlier." Eddie grumbled, sitting down opposite her at the table.

"Shut up," Patricia hissed, "people will hear you."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Well, for the record—I wish I could get out of your face right now, believe me. But my dad sent me to do the homework with you. Apparently we're the only ones who didn't get any of the answers right."

She looked up at him without moving her head, her pen stopping in its tracks. "The only ones?"

"Yeah. Apparently we haven't been putting enough time in to our work outside of the classroom."

Patricia couldn't hold back a snort as she looked back down and kept writing. "We both know what we've been putting too much time in to."

Eddie chuckled a little and pulled out his books.

He made a start on the homework he was re-doing, and Patricia continued with hers as they both sat in silence in the dining room of Anubis House.

After a few minutes, Eddie was tapping his pen loudly on his paper as he concentrated and Patricia looked up, scowling.

"Could you stop that? It's really annoying."

Eddie ignored her. "What did you get for question three?" He asked, standing up and leaning over the table to look at her work.

She pushed his chest forcefully so he fell back down in to his chair. "You're not going to copy me, Weasel. Do your own work."

"I wasn't gonna copy you," he defended, clicking the top of his pen. "My dad wanted us to work together."

"Well, I've been sitting here for an hour more than you, so I'm way ahead."

"Then help me," he said, leaning his cheek in to his hand which squished his face up on one side. "Pleaaase…?"

Patricia looked at him without moving her head again and rolled her eyes when she saw he was pouting. Reluctantly, she pushed her chair back and went to the other side of the table. She sat next to him tentatively and cringed when he scooted his chair a bit closer. It was weird; during lunchtimes when they were in some hidden and locked room, having him close was all she wanted. But outside of those times and those places, having him close seemed weird and off-putting; like it wasn't quite right.

Eddie, on the other hand, shuffled the chair even closer, and he had to hold back a smile. He liked being close to her, even if they weren't kissing each other. Sometimes he wished they could just sit down and _talk_, too; instead of just kiss at lunch and break times and then throw a couple insults at each other during the day. He hoped that after the homework was finished they could talk a little. As much as he'd pretended to hate her whiny, British yack, he actually sort of loved it.

She started to explain the homework to him and, before they knew it, it was another hour later and they'd finished the homework surprisingly quickly.

"Thanks for, um…helping me," Eddie said, putting his books in to a pile as Patricia went to the other side of the table and collected her things.

"I would say that that's what friends are for," she started, pulling her school bag over her shoulder. And then she leaned over the table to him, her palms flat down on the wood. "…But we're not friends." She smiled sweetly before turning on her heel and walking out of the room.

Eddie stared at her in disbelief as he watched her walk away. He just really, really didn't understand her, or this situation.  
>They spend hours kissing and connecting in some way, but then when they left those moments, everything seemed to settle and go back to them hating each other. It was like it meant nothing to her. He'd thought it meant nothing to him, too, but now he wasn't so sure.<p>

Because, for the first time since they started doing this, watching her walk away made him feel slightly sad.

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><p>"You're gonna have to fix your hair when we go back out," Eddie said, pulling all of her messed-up hair on to one shoulder so he could kiss her bare neck. She closed her eyes and let him, leaning further back against the wall.<p>

"Wouldn't want to make it obvious now, would we?"

Eddie smirked before leaning back in and kissing her square on the lips. His hands found their way around her waist and slowly got lower and lower, and she sighed as her hands came up and cupped his face.

He grinned and kissed her more because for these past few lunchtimes, he just seemed to be enjoying it a heck of a lot more. He knew that he liked her – he'd known as soon as he started _needing_ to kiss her – and he knew that he loved doing this with her.

Eddie's hands were just fiddling with the hem of her blouse when they heard a noise from outside the storage room door.  
>Gasping a little, Patricia immediately jumped back from Eddie's hold and went to grab her bag. Eddie put his hand out to stop her and he tentatively walked towards the door.<p>

"Shh," he hushed her as she stood there, heart racing. They couldn't be found like this: Eddie's top button undone and Patricia's blazer on the floor. They weren't even supposed to be down here, let alone being down here and doing what they were doing.

"The door's locked, it's okay," Eddie whispered, smiling gently at her before turning his attention back to the door.

Patricia nodded nervously, standing completely still with her bag in her arms.

Eddie made it to the window of the door and when he looked out cautiously, he quickly snapped his head back around and flattened himself against the wall.

"It's my dad," he whispered, "and some student from our class." Quickly, he turned the lights out and grabbed Patricia's hand, pulling her over to him. There was a window on the door but no blind, he noticed, which made this situation even more risky.

He crouched down and Patricia did too; they were now ridiculously close, despite the fact they were no longer kissing. She was pressed up against a shelving unit and Eddie was against her other side.

They heard Mr. Sweet's voice on the other side of the door, "are you sure you saw Edison come down here, Matthew?"  
>"I think so," the other person – Matthew, apparently – said.<br>The handle to the door suddenly rattled, and both Patricia and Eddie jumped as Patricia gasped.  
>"They can't get in. It's fine." Eddie whispered, looking at her and trying to make her feel better.<p>

"Why are they looking for you anyway?"

He thought for a moment and then his face straightened out in realisation before it screwed up in frustration, his head hitting the wall behind him.

"Oh, man, I had detention this lunchtime…I completely forgot!" He was still whispering and he face-palmed.

"Doofus." Patricia tried to insult him, but she couldn't help smiling. Internally, she hit herself and she wiped the smile away instantly.

"What are you smiling at?" Eddie asked. He'd noticed.  
>Patricia was saved from having to answer when the footsteps came closer again, the door rattling one last time before the footsteps faded away and back up the steps.<p>

Eddie sighed in relief and stood up, running his hands through his hair. He flicked the light switch back on again.

"No idea how I'm going to get out of this one when I go back upstairs."

For a moment, Patricia looked at him. She watched as he grabbed his bag, sorted his hair out and tucked his shirt in. That stupid, ridiculous smile found its way on to her lips again but this time she frowned it away before he saw, and she straightened her back. "Good luck, Slimeball. Later."

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><p><strong>AN: **_Hi lovelies! So, the feedback on this story so far has been wonderful, I'm glad you guys like it :) I wasn't sure about it at first because it's quite light, if you know what I mean? It's totally different to All This Time in that ATT is a bit heavier and more angsty, but this is sort of just a teenage romance kind of thing. Although it does get a bit more angsty as time goes on. _

_Anyway, enough rambling! I hope you liked this chapter.  
>Please let me know what you think; what you liked and what you didn't like. Feedback is always appreciated :) <em>

_If I don't update anything before, I hope you all have wonderful, peaceful Christmasses (if you celebrate it). And happy New Years. Don't forget the reason for the season! :) _

_Love :* xxx_


	4. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House of Anubis.

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><p>"Who the hell is <em>that<em>?" Patricia asked, standing by her best friend in the hallway of Anubis House and scowling at the unfamiliar girl walking through the door.

"No idea," Joy shrugged. The girl was trailing a suitcase behind her and looking around the house surrounding her. Suddenly, Trudy came out of the kitchen and clapped her hands excitedly.

"Oh, you must be Clara!" Trudy exclaimed, walking over to the new girl.

"Yes, that's me," the girl, Clara, smiled politely.

"I'm Trudy, the housemother. It's so nice to meet you!"

"You too, Trudy," she had a French accent.

Patricia straightened up her back and scowled at the new girl. She was too prim and proper for Patricia's liking, and she was smiling far too politely.

"Um, Trudy…who is _this_?" Patricia asked rudely.

Trudy turned around and gave her a look. "_This_, is Clara. She's a foreign exchange student from France, staying here for a month or so…"

"What have we exchanged her for?" Patricia looked the girl up and down, taking in her dark blue jeans, white and navy blue striped top and white denim jacket. Her hair was caramel brown and perfectly curled, and she wore little makeup. She was tall and slim.  
>Patricia already didn't like her.<p>

"Patricia," Joy said hastily, coming up behind her and touching her arm. "Didn't you have some work to do?"

"What?" Patricia narrowed her eyes at her best friend. "I don't have any—" Before she could finish her sentence, Joy had taken her hand and was already dragging her up the stairs.

Joy called over her shoulder, "it was nice to meet you, Clara!", and turned back to Patricia.

Once they were upstairs, Joy let go of Patricia's arm furiously and glared at her. "Patricia, you can't just be rude like that to the poor new girl! What has she ever done to you!?"

Patricia rolled her eyes and stomped off towards her bedroom.

"Are you in a bad mood or something?" Joy asked, following her.

"No," Patricia grumbled, slumping down on her bed and pulling on her headphones. "She just already annoys me."

"There's a shock."

"What did you say?" Patricia questioned, pulling her headphones off of one ear.

"Nothing," Joy said innocently. "Nothing at all."

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><p>"Yacker, I need to talk to you." Eddie said darkly, pushing her in to the supply room before Patricia even had chance to protest.<p>

"I didn't come here to talk." She growled, shoving her bag to the floor and glaring at him as he shut the door and locked it.

Eddie ignored her bad mood. "I know we said we wouldn't, but I…I think we should tell people that this is happening."

"That what is happening?"

"This," he gestured between them, his eyebrows raised. "It doesn't seem right that it's all secretive."

"And what would we tell people?" She asked, folding her arms over her chest. "That we come in here every lunchtime to make out, and then go back to hating each other the rest of the time?" Patricia snorted sarcastically. "Yeah, there's some exciting news for people to know."

Eddie stared at her for a minute, guiltily, knowing that the reaction to what he was about to say would most likely be fatal.  
>He liked her.<br>He really, really liked her; and he couldn't keep it in anymore. He hadn't meant for this to happen.

"I like you," He managed to spit out, quickly, barely looking at her.

"You _what_?" Patricia hissed.

"I like you," Eddie repeated, slightly more composed this time.

"I _heard you_," she snarled at him and shot him a mean glare. "But I meant, what on earth are you talking about? You can't possibly like me. This was never meant to _be_ anything."

"Then what is it, Patricia?" Eddie suddenly exploded, throwing his hands up to his sides in desperation. "Why did we start this in the first place? What _made_ us start kissing all those months ago?"

"It's just a bit of fun."

"But we hate each other. That's our whole thing; or, at least, that's what it _used_ to be…"

"I still hate you." She narrowed her eyes at him. Her voice was quieter now, but still deadly serious.

Eddie looked at her for a moment, his eyebrows raised, like they both knew that wasn't the case.

"I know you don't hate me, Yacker…"

"I _do_."

"Then why do you kiss me like it means something?"

"What? I kiss you because…well, I don't even know _why_ I kiss you, but it doesn't…it doesn't _mean _anything."

He shoved his tongue in to his cheek and thought for a moment as he stared at her. She was still glaring, and he noticed her hair was curlier than usual. It seemed a different shade of red in the lights of this room.

"Look, I never meant for this to mean anything either. I can't help how I'm feeling for you right now."

"Feeling? You're not feeling anything for me, idiot; nothing except lust. Don't kid yourself, Miller—nothing is ever, _ever_ going to happen between us. Nothing more than just making out. Got it?"

He stared at her again as his arms hung limply at his sides. "Are you sure about that?"

Patricia faltered for a minute before letting her arms fall to her sides, one hand coming up to itch the side of her head nervously. "Of course I am." She said weakly, trying to look him dead in the eye. "You're Eddie Miller. Of _course_ I hate you, Slimeball. Just get out of my face."

She really _didn't_ like him that way. Or at least, she didn't _think_ that she liked him that way; she didn't even do feelings—they only brought blushing and racing hearts and pain. She didn't feel things for anyone, let alone a stupid American who she never even liked as a friend in the first place.

And she really, really didn't want to feel anything as she watched Eddie walk away, his head hanging low and his arms swinging loosely at his sides; but she felt _something_.

Patricia wasn't sure what, exactly, it made her feel: guilt? Sadness? Regret?

Kicking herself for feeling any kind of emotion towards Edison Miller, she exhaled – a half scoff, half sigh – and swung her bag over her shoulder. This lunch time didn't turn out how she'd expected it would.

For the rest of the day, Patricia would try and look at him in each one of their lessons. She'd try to catch his eye in the hallway, just to shoot him some kind of glance, but he wouldn't look. And if he did, he looked right through her, as if she weren't even there. As if he'd never spoken to her in his life.  
>He just walked on by.<p>

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><p>9.55pm. Patricia had just gone to the kitchen quickly to grab a glass of water before lights out. She was wearing her PJs, her hair in a single plait, falling over her left shoulder. Everyone was in bed, so she didn't care that her hair looked slightly silly or that she didn't have any makeup on; or, at least, she didn't care <em>until<em> a familiar face came in to the kitchen. Eddie, of course.

He was wearing his PJs, too; grey sweatpants and a blue, long-sleeved top. The ends of his hair around his face were slightly wet, looking as if he'd just washed his face.

Patricia wanted to talk to him so badly, and that desire had hit her suddenly. She'd never wanted to properly talk to him before; she'd either wanted to rip his head off in anger or have her hands tangled in his hair in lust. She hadn't felt these casual desires yet, and it scared her just a little.

"Hey," she said, as casually as she could muster. He didn't reply; he didn't even look at her. All he did was go over to the cabinet and grab a bowl to pour some cereal in to. "What, so you're ignoring me now?" She asked, putting her cup down on the island as she watched him from behind. He was standing at the counter by the open wall that looked out in to the dining room, and as he grabbed a spoon from the drawer, she grew impatient. "Real mature, Eddie. Real—"

"Why won't you just admit that you like me?" he interrupted, spinning around to face her all too quickly.

Patricia was quite shocked at first – shocked at his tone, and the way he was being so forward – but she managed to keep looking at him. Eventually she replied, and her voice was very quiet, "Because I don't."

"I know that's not true."

This was getting ridiculous. "How on earth would you know that?"

"Because!"

"Because _what_!?"

"Because…because people don't just _kiss _each other like _we_ kiss each other. There's something between us, and you can't deny it–"

"Yes I can, Eddie! There's nothing here; it's just physical. There are no emotions here. I don't _feel_ anything towards you!"

Eddie was silent for a moment. He was staring at her, looking like he was running something through his mind over and over again.

And then, in a sudden rush of movements, he was over by Patricia and kissing her. Kissing her fast, and passionately, and within seconds Patricia was already out of breath. She wasn't expecting it, that was for sure; but she most definitely didn't want him to stop.

His arms came around her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers getting tangled in the hair at the top of his neck. This felt like nothing she had ever felt before.

Someone could have easily walked in at any moment and caught them doing this, but neither of them even considered it.  
>Before she knew it, they'd been kissing for a good few minutes and she really did need to breathe a little.<br>She pulled away, completely and totally out of breath, and Eddie kept his face up at hers.

"You can't seriously tell me that that didn't feel like _something_…"

Patricia opened her eyes and looked in to his. His eyebrows were raised slightly and she opened and closed her mouth, willing her brain to give her some words to say. She had none.

Kissing Eddie had never felt like it did just then. It had never felt so meaningful or full of sparks. Where Eddie's hands had trailed her ribcage and his lips had touched hers, her skin seemed to burn with sparks that were flying. She'd never felt that before.

She faltered. "I…"

But then Victor's voice boomed from in the hallway, letting them know that it was, in fact, ten O'clock. They instantly backed away from each other and Patricia grabbed the glass that was still sitting on the counter behind them; although a bit had been spilled.

She stared at him for a moment, slightly bewildered, before shaking her head and running away. She couldn't handle how he was making her feel right now. She never wanted to feel these things; that was never a part of the plan…

* * *

><p>"Patricia, are you OK?" Joy asked the next day as Patricia sat down on the sofa.<p>

"I'm fine." She was looking down at her phone, and it hurt her that she couldn't tell her best friend what was _really _wrong.

"I've known you for years, Patricia. I know something's wrong."

Patricia squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. How did she end up here? How did she end up with this huge secret that was now making her feel things she never thought possible?  
>She couldn't even tell her best friend what was up. She couldn't tell Joy why she was so confused and so frustrated; she had no one to talk this through with. And she hated it.<p>

"I'm fine." Patricia mumbled one last time before pushing herself off the sofa and walking back upstairs again. She couldn't handle the way Joy was looking at her, and the way Joy knew something was wrong, and the way she couldn't tell her. Her own best friend.

When she got to the stairs, Eddie came walking down the corridor from his room and she stared at him for a few moments before he realised she was there.  
>He stopped in his tracks and she let out a tiny little smile when he looked at her. She smiled a small smile back, and just as she was about to walk over to him, he turned and went in to the kitchen.<p>

And at lunchtime, she waited for him in the supply closet.

He never came.

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><p><strong>AN: **_So, I appreciate that this story is literally quite pointless and not one of my best. It's just fluff really...a multi-chapter drabble! But I hope you're enjoying it anyway.  
>This chapter was originally split in to two chapters but the original chapter was a bit dull and boring so I added the kitchen scene in here. It's a lot longer than the other chapters!:') <em>

_Please let me know what you think; what you liked and what you didn't like. _

_Hope you all had great Christmases; and if you didn't, I hope the New Year brings you heaps of joy and happiness :)_

_Love :* xxx_


	5. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House of Anubis

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><p>Patricia waited for him a few days in a row, down in the basement; but he still never showed. She gave up after that.<p>

She'd screwed it all up.

But during their free period near the end of the day, Patricia was standing at her locker to put her books away. Glancing up for just one moment, she saw Eddie slowly walking towards her, and her heart plummeted in to her stomach.

He didn't say anything to her. He just walked all too close for this _public_ hallway, and for a moment as he was approaching her, she thought he was going to kiss her. But he didn't; he just stopped and gestured his head in the direction of the door down to the basement.

Patricia frowned, looking around to check that no one was there, and followed him to the door.

Once they were down the stairs and in front of the usual room, Patricia stood against the wall next to the room as he opened the door. And then she followed him in. As he closed the door behind them, she got frustrated.

"I thought you'd given up on this now." She folded her arms over her chest and looked at the ground.

Eddie didn't say anything.

He stepped forward and backed her against the wall, his hand on her neck as he kissed her. He kissed her square on the lips several times before she finally opened her mouth and let him kiss her like she usually did. Although, this time, it was slow and less chaotic. It was like their whole dynamic had changed. She was confused – she didn't know what was going on with them – but she definitely knew how much she loved to kiss him. And what he was doing now was just so good, and she couldn't bring herself to stop him.

"Sorry I didn't show these past few days…" he apologised against her lips.

"Why did you show today?"

"I couldn't help it. I missed this…," he leaned in to kiss her again, but she moved her head away. "What?" Eddie asked, watching as she looked down and pulled her lips together.

"If you didn't want to be here these past few days," she started, still looking down. "You shouldn't be here right now."

"Since when did you care about the politics of this situation?"

_Since I realised my feelings for you. _

"I don't," Patricia lied, moving out of his grasp and over to her bag. She crouched down beside it. "I just figured that, since our kiss the other night…"

"You realised you _do_ like me?" Eddie was smirking proudly, and Patricia glared at him. He looked so smug, and it filled her with both hate and love for him.

She looked back down at her bag. "I'm not talking about this again."

"I don't know what to think about this anymore."

Patricia stood up then, her hand clasped around the handles of her bag. "Neither do I."

"So you're never going to admit that you like me?"

Looking down, she shook her head and then opened the door. She ran away…again. She was always running away.

She ran all the way out of the school, thanking her lucky stars that she had a free period, and slowed her pace down to a fast walk as she got to the grass on the way to the house.

Soon, she heard footsteps behind her once she reached the path up to Anubis House.

She turned around and saw Eddie running after her. This was all too much; chasing after each other was something that people in a relationship did. They weren't in a relationship, and they certainly weren't going to end up in a relationship at any point in the near or far future. Patricia couldn't handle it.

"Don't chase after me." Patricia demanded, opening the door to the house and storming inside. She made her way upstairs and, again, Eddie's footsteps were following her.

"Patricia, wait up…"

"Oh, for goodness' sake, just leave me alone." Patricia growled to Eddie, not bothering to look back. "I told you not to follow me."

"But I need to talk to you."

Patricia reached for her bedroom door handle and turned to face him, scowling harshly. "We have nothing to talk about. Now leave. Me. Alone."  
>And with that, she walked in to her room, slamming the door behind her without giving Eddie a chance to respond.<p>

She threw herself down on to her bed and sighed angrily. She hadn't thought to check if anyone was in the room and when she opened her eyes, one of her roommates (and best friend), Joy, was standing next to her with raised eyebrows.  
>"Another fight with Eddie?" She asked, already knowing what the answer was going to be.<p>

"Yeah." Patricia mumbled.

"There's a shock," Joy said sarcastically, sitting down on the edge of her own bed. "You two _really_ hate each other."

And then Patricia closed her eyes, turning her head to face the other way. That was just the thing; they _didn't_ hate each other. She wished for all the world that she could, and she wished that she was able to express that she didn't hate him. But she wasn't able, and she knew that; she knew that her ability to be honest and open with people had left a long time ago.

Patricia took a deep breath in before replying to her best friend. "Yeah." She said quietly, feeling her eyes sting. She wasn't going to cry. She didn't do tears anymore.

Eddie was annoying, and irritating, and downright stupid. He was stupid for following her every time she stormed off. He was stupid for trying to push her in to talking when all Patricia wanted to do was be silent; and he was irritating when he used that little annoying smirk on her all the time. _All_ the time. It drove her crazy, and she hated it; she didn't want to feel stuff. She just liked to be Patricia, on her own, not needing to depend on anyone.

But now, she was already in too deep.

* * *

><p>"Patricia, could you help Clara do the dishes?" Trudy asked at the end of dinner that night.<p>

Patricia was already in a fowl mood. She rolled her eyes and leaned her chin in to her hands. "Do I have to?"

"Please."

Rolling her eyes, she pushed her chair out and reluctantly trudged in to the kitchen to find Clara standing by the sink.

"Patricia!" She grinned, all too friendlily, her French accent thick.

"Hi." Patricia said, completely and totally unenthusiastic.

"How was your day?"

Patricia looked up from the tea towel in her hands and looked at Clara dubiously. "Fine," some of her hair was falling in her face and she looked back down at the towel.

"That's great!" Clara smiled, handing Patricia another plate to dry. "Do you mind if I ask something?" She then asked, having to think about each word carefully before she said it.

"Um… okay…"

"You like Eddie?"

Patricia frowned down at the cup in her hands, her heart plummeting in to her stomach. Had the new French girl seen her and Eddie doing stuff? Had she seen them sneaking off together?

She tried to play it cool. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… uh… is he… nice?"

Internally, Patricia breathed a sigh of relief. On the outside, she moved over and put some glasses in the cabinet. "He's okay.… Why do you ask?"

Just as Clara was about to reply, Joy came running in to the kitchen and grabbed Patricia's arm, dragging her in to the dining room to look at something on her phone.

For a moment, Patricia wondered what Clara was asking that question for, but then she reminded herself that she didn't care. Or, at least, she shouldn't care.

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><p><strong>AN: **_I am literally so sorry that this chapter was pretty sucky. Sorry if it was disappointing. :( This installment just feels a bit empty, if you see what I mean? But the next chapter will be better, I promise. We find out exactly what Clara is thinking. _

_Can I just say, thank you SO MUCH to **everyone **who reviewed on the last chapter and the rest of the chapters before that. I honestly didn't think anyone would be in to this story at all, but it seems to be my most popular!? So thank you all SO much, you are wonderful, and it makes me so happy to know that you're enjoying reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. _

**_Next chapter preview:_** _'__But now, deep down, she knew this had been her last chance.'_

_Do let me know what you think in a review! :)_

_Love :* xxx_


	6. Chapter Five

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own House of Anubis or any of the characters related to it. _

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><p>Patricia was in her room straightening her hair when the door opened and someone walked in. Someone with brown hair and brown eyes that she hadn't spent enough time looking in to, and with lips that she'd spent more than enough time touching her own to.<p>

"I need to talk to you." Eddie said, closing the door behind him before standing a few feet behind her. Patricia swivelled her chair around to face him but continued to straighten her hair.

"What is it with you and the talking these days?"

Eddie ignored her comment. "Clara likes me."

Patricia stopped moving for a moment and stared at him blankly, her hair straighteners sitting in her hand.  
>"And… you're telling me this because…?"<p>

Eddie stared at her too. He blinked.

He had to tell Patricia about this, because maybe this would finally let him know where he stood with her. Maybe she would finally admit her feelings once she realised someone else might get him.  
>At least with Clara he knew where he stood. She'd told him after dinner that she liked him, and she'd asked him on a date. He didn't know what to say. So he decided to talk to Patricia about it, and maybe find out how she really, truly felt about them; maybe he could find out whether they were ever going to turn in to something real.<p>

But, judging by Patricia's frosty reception when he walked in, he didn't think he was going to get anywhere.

He drew in a short, sharp breath. "I'm telling you because I need to know. Are we ever going to become something?"

"_Something_, huh?" Patricia echoed, turning back to the mirror and continuing to straighten her hair. "Do you mean 'something' as in, holding hands in public and telling each other how much we're in love? I think we both know we're never going to do that."

Shaking his head, he looked down and laughed incredulously. "Unbelievable."

"What?" She turned back to him and narrowed her eyes.

"You're just unbelievable. I _know_ how you feel about me, and yet you still deny it. You know what? Maybe I _will_ go out with Clara. At least with her I know what we are. I know what she wants us to be and I know where I stand."

"Go be all couple-y with her then. See if I care, Weasel. You were always just someone to kiss anyway." She turned back to the mirror for one last time.  
>Eddie ran his hands through his hair and shook his head, not quite believing what she'd just said to him. Was that really all he ever was to her?<p>

"Fine then. I guess whatever _this_ is," he gestured between the two of them, "is over."_  
><em>As he turned around and slammed the door, Patricia watched him discreetly in the mirror. And when she knew he was long gone down the corridor, she sat the hair straighteners down and put her face in her hands, exhaling loudly. She was angry at herself; angry that she could never admit how she felt to _anyone_. Not even Eddie.

She just had to go and push him away, just like she did to everyone.

And now he was going on a date with someone else – someone who was perfect and not difficult at all – and she couldn't believe she'd just let him go. He had put himself out on the line for her time after time, and she always shot him down, because she knew that he'd always come back to her.

But now, deep down, she knew this had been her last chance.

* * *

><p>"I don't mean to be funny," Joy started, sitting next to Patricia on the sofa where she was staring bitterly at Clara and Eddie. "But they do actually look quite cute together."<br>Eddie and Clara were standing in the kitchen by the sink, two days after Clara had asked Eddie on a date, washing up dishes. Tonight was going to be their first date, and Patricia's scowl turned even sourer at the thought of it. She couldn't stand this. And little did Joy know how Patricia felt when she said how cute they looked together.

"Trix?" Joy questioned when her best friend didn't reply. "…You OK?"

Patricia dragged her gaze away from the lovebirds for a moment so she could look at Joy. "Yeah. Fine."

"Don't you think they're just adorable?"

Patricia rolled her eyes so hard that it hurt, hiding her face behind her hair, and she looked down at her lap. "_Adorable_." Her tone was dripping with sarcasm, but she didn't think Joy had picked it up.

A few minutes later, a very hyperactive Alfie burst through the dining room door.

"Hey, lovebirds!" He exclaimed. "Excited for your _date_ tonight?" He was grinning a ridiculous amount, and Patricia's scowl worked its way back on to her face.

For the tiniest, tiniest moment – so tiny, Patricia wondered how she'd even caught a glimpse of it – Eddie looked over at Patricia; but then his eyes came away just as fast and he smiled at Alfie who was now in the kitchen at the fridge. He put his arm over Clara's shoulder, and she blushed a weird shade of red.

"Oh, totally. We can't wait, right, Clara?" Eddie grinned down at her, and only Patricia could tell that it was a fake grin.

"I am very excited." Clara smiled down at the worktop in front of her and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. She really was sort of perfect; just the right amount of sweetness and feistiness, and her hair was always immaculate. She always seemed to be wearing a little smile, and her clothes were somewhere between fashionable and individual; she definitely had herself worked out, and she definitely liked Eddie.

It made Patricia feel sick.

"I was just saying to Patricia how cute you guys look together," Joy smiled, standing up and walking in to the kitchen. "Right, Trix?" She looked over her shoulder at Patricia.

"Right." Patricia muttered before grabbing her phone, standing up and walking out of the living room.

As she walked up the stairs towards her bedroom, Patricia thought about kissing him. She thought about what it felt like with his lips against hers, moving away and then coming back again for more. She remembered how his hands had trailed each of her ribs when they kissed in the kitchen that night and how his hands always slid low when they were down in the basement; and then she smiled bittersweetly at the memory of how good it felt.  
>She thought about when he'd kiss her neck and she would not be able to resist it. <em>Ever<em>.  
>She thought about the first time she'd felt something casual towards him; the desire just to talk to him and to hear his voice. Even now, it made her feel weird.<p>

Even now, admitting to herself that she actually did like him – she _really _liked him – made her feel off balance. Like something wasn't quite right.

And Eddie subtly watched her as she walked away from the kitchen and up the stairs. He wanted to chase after her, but there were so many reasons why he couldn't do that.

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><p><strong>AN: **_Hi! Sorry I didn't update sooner. Hope you liked this chapter though. Thank you for the wonderful reviews on the last chapter! Can I get some reviews for this one too? :) _

_Love :* xxx_

**_PS._**_ If you're in to Wolfblood, check out my first ever Wolfblood fic, "See You Again" :) _


	7. Chapter Six

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own House of Anubis or anything related to it. _

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><p>"Alright, Patricia," Joy slammed their bedroom door slightly behind her as she walked up to Patricia who was lying on her bed. "What is your problem?"<p>

"Nothing's my problem. I'm fine." Patricia's eyes were closed.

"Stop lying to me. I know something's wrong, and you've been acting like this for a few weeks now. You have to tell me what it is; I'm worried about you. Maybe I can help."

"You can't help," Patricia replied, trying not to sound too miserable. And then she mumbled, "no one can."

"I'm your best friend, Patricia," Joy sat down on the edge of her own bed and looked at Patricia. "I know you better than anyone. There must be something I can help with.… At least tell me what the problem is," and when Patricia didn't reply, Joy sighed frustratedly. "Is it Eddie?"

Patricia's eyes flew open and she eyed her best friend suspiciously. "How did you know that?"

"You guys fight all the time; I figured eventually it was gonna have a knock-on effect."

Looking down guiltily, Patricia pushed herself up from her lying down position and instead sat on the edge of her bed.

"It's not the fighting, it's…"

"...It's what?"

Patricia squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and exhaled. "There's something I haven't told you about, and I…I don't know if I should tell you, but…"

"Of course you should tell me. Whatever it is, you know I won't judge you."

She looked up at Joy then, without moving her head, and bit her lip for a brief moment. "Eddie and I have sort of had this…thing…going on for a few months now…"

"What do you mean a 'thing'? How you hate each other?"

Patricia shook her head. "No, um…we sort of had a thing, as in…we…kissed…quite a lot, actually…"

Joy's eyes widened. "And you were going to tell me this _when_, exactly!?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it was sort of meant to be our little secret because, well…it never meant to turn in to anything…"

"So you're telling me…," her eyebrows came together in confusion. "That you and Eddie have been making out at regular intervals for a few months, and you didn't even tell me. _You_ _and_ _Eddie_; as in, the two students who hate each other most in the whole school!?"

"Yeah…"

"How on earth did this even happen?"

Patricia shrugged lightly. "We were in the kitchen alone, arguing about something…I can't even remember what. And then all of a sudden he just…kissed me. It was all so sudden and so fast, and before we knew it we were meeting up every lunchtime to kiss. And then going back to hating each other straight after."

Joy shook her head; slowly, incredulously. "This is insane. Messed up, that's what it is. _You_ and…_Eddie_?"

"Me and Eddie."

"Wow," Joy nodded for a second before she frowned again and looked back to Patricia. "So…why are you all upset now?"

Patricia raised her eyebrows, and it only took Joy a few seconds to realise it.

"Oh, right…Clara…," Joy bit her lip. "But I thought you said it wasn't supposed to turn in to anything?"

"It wasn't. I mean, it didn't. But…it could have…"

"Why?"

Patricia sighed a short, exasperated sigh. "It could have, if Clara hadn't come in and taken him away. He _told_ me he liked me, Joy; and I had to go and push him away like I do with everyone else. I didn't _want_ to push him away, but I also didn't want to admit defeat and say I liked him."

"How is that admitting defeat?"

Patricia shrugged, looking down at her lap. "I don't do feelings." She said, her voice so quiet. "You know that."

"…And, now that Eddie's dating Clara…you miss him. Right?"

"I think so," she rolled her eyes and leaned forward, putting her head in her hands and letting out a frustrated noise. "I wasn't supposed to fall for him! I never thought I'd actually miss kissing him…"

"Do you miss the kisses or do you miss _him_?"

"I don't know," she mumbled in to her hands. "Maybe a little bit of both." And as soon as she admitted that out loud, Patricia knew that she'd made a mistake with Eddie. A bigger mistake than she'd realised previously.

* * *

><p>Every single lunchtime for the next week, Patricia expected Eddie to be down in the basement, waiting for her. She expected it for at least twenty seconds before the reality sunk in and she looked across from her locker to his, seeing him and Clara talking, laughing. It drove her crazy, and every time she despised the fact that he even had the ability to drive her crazy. This was why she didn't want to fall for him; because it would make her feel things. And she never wanted to feel. All she'd wanted was someone to kiss.<p>

"Hey, how you doing?" Joy asked as they walked downstairs to the dinner table one evening.

"Fine, how are you?"

"I mean how are you feeling about Eddie?" She lowered her voice slightly as they reached the dining room now.

Patricia rolled her eyes, pulling out her chair. Joy sat next to her. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

Just as she was about to reply, Eddie came walking in and she looked up at him. Unlike usual these past few weeks, he didn't have his brown-haired girlfriend with him, and Patricia couldn't help but wonder why.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Patricia asked, frustrated with herself at how miserable she sounded.

"Went to visit some British family members." He shrugged and sat down opposite her. The dinner table was quiet tonight; now it was only the three of them at the table, along with Nina; Fabian was out at the library, Jerome was at school doing some after-school detention, and Alfie and Amber were late.

"Where are Amber and Alfie?" Trudy asked as she came in to the dining room.

"They went for a walk and I guess they just got held up." Joy answered.

"Well, I guess it's just you guys for a while. Eat up."

As they sat and ate, Joy and Nina made conversation with both Patricia and Eddie. They were like the middle-grounders; the two people to make it less awkward between the two of them. And Patricia couldn't help but notice how Eddie was trying to look at her the whole time, and how he was trying to talk to her.

Once they'd all finished eating, Trudy called Joy and Nina in to help clear up, leaving Eddie and Patricia together. Alone. _Great_.

"So…how have you been?" Eddie asked, looking at her tentatively.  
>Patricia wanted nothing more than to just <em>speak<em> to him and tell him that, actually, this past week had been hell and that she was really, really sorry for ever being so horrid to him. She just wanted to be able to laugh with him again, and maybe even throw a couple insults back and forth.  
>But no, she wouldn't speak to him because, unlike <em>normal<em> people, she kept her guard up even further. Her natural instinct was just to push him away more and more.

"Fine." She answered eventually, looking down at the table.

"Are…you sure…?"

"I'm fine." And without another word said, she pushed hair chair back and ran upstairs.

She was always running away.

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><p><strong>AN: **_This is a sucky chapter and I'm really sorry. I left you all hanging and gave you this. Blah. I guess it was a necessary chapter though. The next chapter will be much better; it's probably one of my faves! _

_Thank you for reading anyway :') _

_Love :* xxx_


	8. Chapter Seven

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House of Anubis.

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><p>It was two weeks later, and unfortunately, Clara was due to go back to France anytime soon. The thought made Patricia smirk to herself; every time someone said that they'd miss Clara, she would have to hold back a laugh. Because she really <em>wouldn't<em> be missing her. Or the way she'd cuddle up to Eddie at the dinner table and whilst they were all watching a movie. Or the way Eddie would put his hand on her leg; it should have been _Patricia_'s leg. Not Clara's.

Patricia wondered what Eddie and Clara were planning to do with their 'relationship' once she went back. Maybe it was always meant to be a month-long thing; she hadn't really asked Eddie about it because, a) it would have been extremely awkward and b) she hadn't spoken to him much at all in three weeks. She felt sad about that, and so did Eddie.

Now it was a late Friday afternoon and Patricia was just coming downstairs to grab her phone. Trudy came out of the kitchen and walked over to Patricia, her eyebrows brought together in to a frown.

"Hey Trudes." Patricia greeted, only to be stopped in her tracks when she saw the look on Trudy's face. She knew something was wrong.

"Patricia, I'm afraid I have some bad news…"

* * *

><p>"Where's Patricia?" Mara asked at dinner time that night as Trudy put a bowl of salad down on the table. Everyone shrugged except Joy and Trudy; they were the only ones that knew so far.<p>

"She's at the hospital," Joy said sadly.

Eddie sat up in his seat and let go of Clara's hand, his eyebrows coming together. "What? Why?" He asked frantically, not even bothering to hide his concern.

"Her dad got taken in to hospital. He's had a heart attack." Trudy explained, her voice quiet as she went back in to the kitchen.

A few words of sadness were uttered from every housemate around the table – even Clara – but not Eddie. He sat back in his chair, eyes wide, and stared down at the table.

"Eddie…are you okay?" Mara asked.

"E—Excuse me for a minute." He stood up from the table and went in to the main hallway to grab his jacket and put his combat boots on. He wasn't even thinking anymore; he just had to go.  
>A few moments later, Trudy came out and walked towards him.<p>

"Eddie? What are you doing?"

"I have to go and see her," he said, feeling as if he was in a slight daze. He was barely blinking.

"Patricia?" Trudy questioned. She was confused—she didn't even realise they were friends.

"Yeah. I'll be back soon, OK?"

"Eddie, sweetie, I can't let you go on your own…"

Eddie looked at Trudy and smiled sadly. "I have to go, Trudes. I'll be fine."

She looked reluctant and hesitant, but she saw the look in Eddie's eyes and had the feeling that Eddie wasn't going to let this go. He was determined to go and see Patricia and no one was going to stop him.

"Okay," she said reluctantly. "Well…just be careful."

* * *

><p>Patricia sat on one of the waiting room chairs by herself. Piper was currently in Paris, so she wasn't there, and her mum was with her dad. So she was all on her own and no one at the hospital had had much information for her.<br>Tears were frozen in her eyes. Her vision was now slightly blurry, her eyes stinging every time she moved them. The tears didn't seem to want to fall; as much as she tried to blink them out, they wouldn't come.

It wasn't even a proper waiting room. It was just a few chairs in a hallway opposite a window; there was no TV, no coffee machine…nothing. Her dad was in the emergency admissions unit and they didn't get many visitors there.

Patricia was terrified.  
>Anything could be happening behind the doors on her left. Her dad could be surviving, or dying. She had no idea; no one had told her any details except the fact that he'd had a heart attack. She didn't know how this was going to end, and a part of her wished she wasn't alone right now.<p>

Just as she was about to get up and ask someone for information – she'd been here for an hour now – the doors to her right opened. She didn't look up.

Footsteps came closer and then someone sat next to her, and without even looking, she knew it was Eddie. She just knew.

"Hey." He said softly, looking down at her.

"What are you doing here?" She looked up at him without moving her head, hiding behind her hair, and for a moment he was silent.  
>And then he shrugged. "I just thought you could use a friend."<p>

Patricia didn't want to cry now.

She especially didn't want to cry in front of _Eddie_; she'd worked so hard to keep up a reputation of not giving a damn about anything, even him, and she didn't want to ruin that now.

But it was inevitable.

Before she knew it, her face was in her hands and she was sobbing; quietly, but still out loud.  
>Eddie's eyebrows knitted together, and for a moment he didn't know what to do. He'd never seen her crying before, and he didn't realise how much he'd hate to see this. It was almost like his heart was breaking with her…he wasn't used to seeing her vulnerable, and it was one of the rare occasions where he'd see how human she really was. She never showed this side of her.<p>

"Hey," he said lightly, putting his hand on her back. "Hey, come here…" and without even thinking about it, he pulled her in to him and she let him. He couldn't help himself. She let the tears fall on to his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. As much as it killed him to see her crying, he liked having her close again.  
>"It's gonna be OK," he leaned down and kissed the top of her head, letting his lips stay there. "I promise."<p>

Patricia sniffed. "I didn't know it'd be this painful if something like this happened." She wiped her face with her sleeve and sat up a little more.

"I know," he soothed.

She looked at his face then, properly, and saw how worried he looked. He was good. He came all the way out to the hospital on his own, when he could have been at the house eating dinner and watching TV. He chose to come and be here with her, even after she hadn't spoken to him in weeks, and comfort her as much as he could. She had been vile to him a few weeks ago – playing him, lying to him, confusing him, insulting him… – and she didn't know what on earth she did to deserve him being so good to her right now. He was there for her exactly when she needed him.

"Thanks for coming," she looked down. "You didn't have to."

"I didn't wanna leave you alone." Eddie said lightly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Patricia sniffed again and sat back against the back of her seat. Tentatively, Eddie leaned over and held her hand, their fingers entwining together.

"Have you heard anything?" Eddie asked, breaking the sharp silence. Patricia shook her head; as much as she hated the silence, she didn't feel like talking about anything to do with the hospital.

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Okay," Eddie squeezed her hand. "What shall we talk about?"

She shrugged and sniffed again, wiping her eyes as a thought of what they could talk about came in to her head. Something she'd been meaning to say for a while now.

"I'm sorry…" she said extremely quietly.

"For what?" Eddie asked, sounding almost alarmed.

Something about the air in the waiting room (or hallway with chairs in it), something about the way she was feeling in that moment, just made her feel like she could be totally honest. Totally open.  
>And it was a weird feeling for her.<br>"For shutting you out…," she said. "For telling you I didn't like you when… actually, I…"

Hesitantly, she looked up at him and bit her lip. He was frowning at her, barely even blinking, and she wanted him to speak. She didn't want to have to say 'I like you'. She wanted him to assume.

And when he slowly brought his hand up to touch her cheek, and leaned in to kiss her, she knew that she didn't have to tell him.  
>He already knew.<p>

He'd always known.

He kissed her so softly. So slowly; so different to how they'd ever kissed before. The kiss didn't turn in to anything more than just one single kiss, and that was totally unlike how they usually did things—usually it was fast and passionate and lustful.

This time, they never opened their mouths even once.  
>It was just one kiss. One kiss that said so much.<p>

"I like you too, Patricia. But you already knew that."  
>Patricia smiled lightly and leaned away from him, sitting back in her chair again.<p>

"You don't have to stay, you know." She said a few minutes later, looking down at her lap and playing with the rings on her fingers.

"Hey, I'm staying here with you," he smiled softly at her and she smiled in return. "Unless you want me to go."

Patricia laughed a little and shook her head, and he took her hand again. They both knew they were going to be here for a few hours, and Patricia felt bad for keeping him here, but Eddie just wanted to be there for her. It was the most normal they'd ever been, and he liked helping her. He liked seeing the vulnerable side of her; it made him feel special, because she never showed it to anyone.

Somehow, seeing her like this had made him fall even more in love with her than he had been before.

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><p><strong>AN: **_Not the longest of chapters but still, PATRICIA FINALLY GOT HER WORDS OUT AND ADMITTED SHE LIKES HIM. Took you long enough, Trix. _

_I hope you liked this chapter! It would be wonderful to hear what you thought in a review? I can't believe this story has 40 reviews already!? Thank you guys so much! I'm totally overwhelmed by how much you guys like this story :')_

_Excited to hear your thoughts! :) _

_Love :* xxx_


	9. Chapter Eight

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House of Anubis or anything related to it.

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><p>Finally, at 10pm, Patricia had been allowed to see her dad. He was still sleeping, and her mum was beside the bed looking extremely exhausted and distraught. It made Patricia feel guilty for leaving when she did because, as much as her relationship with her parents was bumpy, she loved them and wanted them to be okay. And she didn't want to leave her mum alone in her current state.<p>

But, visiting times had already been over for two hours when Patricia and Eddie finally left, and the hospital had asked them nicely if they could leave.

So now, they were walking down to the bus stop in complete silence, Patricia feeling like she needed to cry again but like the tears wouldn't fall. She was scared that if Eddie so much as touched her hand the tears would flow uncontrollably.

"We'll be back at Anubis way past curfew." Eddie said as they started down the hill towards the stop.

Patricia shrugged. "I don't care."

"Did you really think _I_ would care?" Eddie grinned down at her and she laughed, shaking her head.

"No. I know you too well."

And when Eddie reached out and took her hand in his, as predicted the tears fell. They fell fast, silent and uncontrollably, and it took a few minutes for Eddie to notice. When he did notice, he didn't say anything; he just put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in, and she put her arm around his waist, burying her head in to his side so no one would see her crying (not that there were many people around).

Usually she would hate the fact that she was crying, _again_, but she was so tired, and Eddie was so warm and so unexpectedly _good_ at this comforting thing, that she didn't have the mental capacity to care that night. She needed to cry and Eddie was happy to hold her while she did.

The bus ride home was mostly silent. The lights in the bus were really harsh compared to the darkness of outside, and there was only one other person on the bus sitting right at the back.  
>Eddie and Patricia sat next to each other at the front.<br>And when Patricia realised something, she wiped her eyes and just had to break the silence.

"Eddie," she started, her voice all crackly from the crying.

"Yeah?" He turned his head away from the window to look at her.

"You know you have a girlfriend, right? You just kissed me…and now you're holding my hand…does that count as cheating?"

Eddie looked down at his lap and shuffled his feet along the wet bus floor nervously. He shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, but…she's going back to France really soon and I guess it was always going to be a short-term thing, anyways…"

Patricia took a breath in before speaking again, and when she spoke, her voice was quiet and slightly tentative. "Did you ever even _like_ her?"

His face clouded over with even more guilt and he looked down at their hands. His thumb smoothed over her skin and she felt a little weird about it; she wasn't used to him touching her hands, or anywhere that wasn't the usual.

"No," he answered finally. His voice was quiet. "I didn't…"

"Eddie, that's terrible, if she knew that it would break her heart…," Patricia's voice faded off and then she smirked slightly, looking at him. "Actually, maybe it's not so terrible."

He looked up at her. "What?"  
>"I don't really like her very much."<p>

"So that makes it okay that I might break her heart?"

"Yeah; to me it does, anyway."

Shaking his head, he grinned slightly. "You're so judgemental, Williamson."

"I know."

"I do feel bad though," he said, tracing circles on her skin with the fingers of his spare hand. "For being with her even though I didn't like her. She's a good person; I never meant to be a jerk to her. I was just trying to get over you, I guess…"

Patricia smiled a tiny bit and then shrugged, trying not to crumble under his touch. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?"

"True."

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"Yeah. The next stop is our stop."

When they got back to the house, Victor had left the front door open and for a minute they stood in the porch, taking their shoes and coats off.

"Thanks for coming with me," Patricia whispered. "And thanks for staying. I, uh…appreciate it."

"You're welcome," he smiled, and then he grabbed her hand and pulled her back from where she was about to open the door. "Can I kiss you now?"

She studied his face for a moment, considering leaving him hanging until tomorrow, but then her heart took over her mind and she caved. Her head was nodding before she gave it permission to, and she was saying "please".

Grinning, he stepped forward and kissed her straight away, his mouth already open. She let him, of course, and kissed back as she was up against the wall.  
>Before she knew it, her hands were in his hair and his were finding their way around her waist. The kiss started slow but got a bit faster as minutes passed.<br>For a moment it felt weird – kissing each other somewhere that was a lot more public than a storage room in the school basement – but then it started to feel more and more natural; like they couldn't figure out why they hadn't been doing this the whole time.  
>Eddie moved from her lips and left a trail of light kisses down her neck, leaving one last one just under her earlobe.<p>

Then he came back to her lips and grinned before leaning in to kiss her, and his hands ran down her back like he'd done on many different occasions before; but this time, it felt different on Patricia's skin—like it was more than just sparks; like it was electricity that _meant_ something. It felt like magic.

She was just moving her hands around and down each side of his neck when suddenly, the inside porch door opened and a very cross looking Victor stood there glaring at them.

They broke apart instantly and Patricia felt her cheeks burn as red as her hair.

When Victor realised what was going on, he looked slightly embarrassed.

"What is going on here?" He asked grimly, his voice low and intimidating. He couldn't quite meet their eyes.

"Uh, nothing, it's…it's nothing…," Eddie stammered, standing slightly in front of Patricia. "We just got back from the, uh, hospital." He sorted his collar out and flattened his hair.

Victor coughed awkwardly, but still managed to keep up his intimidating tone. "Well next time you get in at such an absurd hour, I suggest you get straight back to bed instead of…fooling around. Now go, both of you. To your _own rooms_."

Both Eddie and Patricia looked down guiltily, squeezing past Victor and making their way in to the hallway. Patricia started up the stairs and smiled slightly at Eddie as he walked past.

"Night." He whispered, and she gave him a little wave. Which, looking back on, she felt stupid for. But she didn't care—not _really_, anyway.

* * *

><p>The next day, Patricia was feeling a lot better. She had woken up at 9am because Trudy told her she could have the day off due to the news about her dad; and Patricia wasn't going to turn that opportunity down.<p>

She spent the morning in some skinny jeans and a big hoody, her hair hanging in natural curls around her face and neck. Her face had little makeup on and the whole house was silent; it was a nice change from the chaos of the house when everyone was there.

A few times she had thought about what had happened last night between her and Eddie. But then when she recalled everything she said to him – how honest she was – she cringed and pushed it to the back of her mind. Usually, she would never have been so open with him. That just wasn't her style. So instead, Patricia had managed to convince herself that it was just the intensity of yesterday's events that had made her act like she did; so different from her usual way of doing things. Yesterday was just a one-time thing; there was no reason for Eddie to take it seriously.

At lunchtime, Patricia went downstairs to get a sandwich and a drink; she'd spent some of the morning up in her room listening to music or reading a magazine. A couple of times Trudy had come to check she was okay but for the most part she would leave Patricia to her own business.

Patricia had thought she was alone in the house but once she got some bread and peanut butter out, she heard the back door open and then close again.

"Yacker, hey," Patricia heard a familiar voice say from behind her.

Patricia tensed. Eddie.

She had been hoping to avoid him for the rest of the day. Her worst fear was that Eddie would try and kiss her or admit he loved her or something crazy like that.

"Um…hello? Earth to Yacker!?"

Patricia heard his footsteps advance behind her and then felt hands on her waist.

Rolling her eyes, she turned around begrudgingly and scowled.

"Get off me, Slimeball," the words were out of her mouth like venom before she gave them permission. Why was she doing this _again_?

Eddie's face twisted in confusion, his hands still sitting tentatively on her waist. He let out a nervous laugh. "Uh, Yacker, you can drop the act now. We're done with that, remember?"

"Uh, no we're not," she spat, pushing his hands off her waist and walking to the other end of the kitchen. She let a few silent seconds pass by as she filled a glass of water before speaking again. "What do you want, Weasel?"

Eddie was thoroughly confused. His mouth was opening and closing; he was willing his brain to give him words to say. But he had none.

"I…_what_?" He managed to stammer out, staring at her in confusion.

Patricia turned to face him, her face innocent.

"What about last night!? – The…the things you said!?" He exclaimed, his brow furrowing even further.

Rolling her eyes, Patricia moved back over to her sandwich things and pushed him out of the way forcefully.

"Last night was a mistake, OK? I was emotional because of my dad, and all the things I said were just a side effect of that. My stupid little outburst was all just because of the situation. Got it?" She wasn't looking at him.

But Eddie was looking at her. He was frowning intensely. "I just…I don't understand you! You _kissed _me yesterday, _and _admitted you like me, but now you're back to acting like you hate me!?"

For a moment – a tiny, tiny passing moment – Patricia felt guilty for the way she was treating him. He had been so good to her last night and now she was pushing him away again, like she had done many, many times before. It was all she was used to. It was her way of staying safe.

And once this guilty moment passed, she scoffed and finally looked up at him, glaring. "I _do _hate you, Slimeball. Just…just leave me alone!"

They held eye contact for a good minute, Patricia's breathing a little more rugged than usual. Her eyes were narrowed and Eddie's brow was knitted together.

For a moment, Eddie considered the words she just said. She had told him to leave her alone; one of her favourite lines to use on him.

But instead of walking away like he had done many, many times before when she'd tried to push him away, he decided to try something different.

He grabbed her roughly by the waist and pulled her in, kissing her desperately. His spare hand came down and entwined their fingers together as their lips moved against each other's.

Patricia considered pushing him away.

But Eddie was so warm and so _familiar_, and he was just such a good kisser, and everything he was pouring in to this kiss spoke all the words neither of them had ever said, that she ended up just melting in to him. She couldn't help it.

Patricia's spare hand came up behind his neck and pulled him effortlessly closer, her fingers starting at the soft hair at the top of his neck and then sliding further in to his light brown locks.

When Eddie pulled away, he kept his lips up at hers.

"I'm sick of leaving you alone," he said against her lips, his voice husky as he breathed heavily. "So, _so_ sick of it."

Patricia smiled shyly, her lips curving slightly at each side, and then she leaned in to kiss him again.

"Then don't." She whispered.

"Please, please stop pushing me away." Eddie begged, his voice surprisingly serious.

"It's a bad habit."

Smirking, Eddie brought his hands up to cup her face. "I noticed."

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><p><strong>AN: **_HI. You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for all your reviews and kind words and favourites and follows. _

_For once I don't have much to say? Weird. But still, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Do let me know what you think in a review. I'm so nearly at 50 reviews! Can't believe that:') _

_Love :* xxx_


	10. Chapter Nine

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House of Anubis.

* * *

><p>Of course, Patricia and Eddie had to hide the fact that they both liked each other, and that they'd been kissing for months and had kissed at the hospital, and that they sometimes gave each other weird glances at the dinner table.<br>Eddie was still with Clara and, being the good guy he was, he didn't want to break up with her just three days before she was due to leave for France again.

But people – even Clara – _had_ noticed how both Eddie and Patricia had been smiling a lot more recently, and that they were talking to each other again. Something was different to usual, the housemates had noticed; they weren't having screaming arguments anymore, and they didn't throw as many insults or glares at each other.

Of course, Joy kept shooting knowing but curious glances towards Patricia, but she chose to ignore them. Joy could find out soon—not yet, but soon.

Every lunchtime for the last few days before Clara was due to fly home, Patricia and Eddie went back to their usual routine of being down in the basement for that whole hour.

But unlike usual, it didn't involve purely physical stuff. Sometimes they would just sit and talk (Eddie felt slightly bad for cheating on Clara) and one time they even played a game of cards when Patricia wanted to forget about her dad who was still in hospital. They sat on the floor, the door locked and their legs crossed in the shape of pretzels in front of them, and played card games until the lunch bell went.

They just enjoyed talking to each other down there now. No interruptions, no people expecting them to fight; they could just be themselves and be easy with it. There was no kissing that went on in those three days; it was extremely different. Good different, they thought.

Although, Patricia _did_ miss kissing him as much as she wanted to at lunchtimes.

Sometimes Eddie would let her, but most of the time he just felt guilty for cheating on his girlfriend—who, Patricia reminded him, he didn't even like that way. But he still wanted to stay as good of a boyfriend as he could.

And now it was Clara's final day, and she was standing at the door to Anubis House, all of the housemates crowded around her and her two suitcases. It was a Friday morning before school; everyone in uniform as they said their goodbyes.  
>Every housemate gave her a hug – except Patricia, who just waved awkwardly – promising to stay in touch and all of the usual things you'd say to someone who was leaving for Europe. Mara and Joy were particularly sad about it as they had bonded with Clara the most out of all the housemates.<p>

And then they all walked away and left Eddie to say goodbye to her. They all looked sad as they filtered away, convinced that it was going to be an extremely difficult and sad goodbye for Eddie and Clara. Some even said it was going to be romantic.

The thought made Patricia feel sick.

The housemates filtered in to various rooms to give Eddie and Clara some privacy; all of the housemates except, of course, Patricia. She decided she would be stupid and torture herself by listening in on their conversation.  
>She stood just behind the double doors to the living room, her body pressed up against the wall and her head angled slightly towards the hallway.<p>

"Thank you, Eddie," Clara said, smiling up at Eddie. He smiled back.

"For what?"

"For making my stay here even more memorable than it would have been without you."

They were holding hands, Patricia knew that much, and she rolled her eyes bitterly.

Eddie was smiling down at Clara and she was smiling back. "You're welcome." He grinned.

"And I am going to miss you." Clara blushed slightly and looked down to the ground, shuffling her feet along the floor nervously.

"I'll miss you, too," Eddie said honestly, squeezing her hands slightly. He _would_ miss her – she was great company – but he just wouldn't miss her in the way everyone else had been assuming…

"I'm sad that I have to go home." Clara admitted.

"So is everyone here," he told her, "but it'll be nice for you to see your family again. I bet they've missed you."

She nodded then and looked back up at him. "They have."

"And you've missed them?"

"More than anything."

And then, as Patricia listened intently, the conversation went silent out in the hallway and Patricia knew what they were doing. They weren't talking anymore. They were kissing.  
><em>That should be me<em>, Patricia thought, grimacing slightly. Looking down, she turned on her heel and walked in to the kitchen because, as much as she knew Eddie didn't feel for Clara half of what he felt for her, she still couldn't stand the idea of him kissing her.

Eddie leaned away from Clara and could've sworn he saw some tears in her eyes. Just as he was about to say something, Trudy came walking down the hallway, a sad look on her face as she approached.  
>They both knew it was time.<p>

Eddie followed Clara out to her taxi and waved her off, watching fondly as she looked out the back window of the car, waving at him sadly. He would miss her – really, he would – but he just wanted to go and see Patricia now.  
>When he turned back to the house, most of the Anubis students were already coming down the stairs, heading towards the school.<p>

"Okay, buddy?" Fabian asked, patting Eddie on the back.

Eddie nodded, looking for Patricia as discreetly as he could. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'll just go finish getting ready."

"Okay. See you in class, yeah?"

"Yeah."

And then Fabian and the rest of the housemates walked past him as he made his way up the steps. Patricia was the only one left inside.

"Yacker?" He called in to the hallway, only to walk in to the living room and find her standing there, looking out the front window. "Hey, Yacker." He said softly as he walked towards her.

"Hey." Patricia looked down to the ground.

Eddie eyed her for a moment, trying to determine what her expression was implying, and then a smirk crept on to his face in realisation. "You were listening, weren't you?"

Patricia shrugged. "Maybe."

And then he chuckled lightly, and Patricia looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing, it's just…," he stepped forward so that there was less than a foot between them. "You're cute when you're jealous."

Patricia scoffed. "I'm not _jealous_."

Eddie raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really? So you wouldn't have minded if I did this to her…?" His fingers slowly traced all the way down her arms and down to her hands, entwining their fingers together. Patricia stared at him, scowl slowly disappearing from her face. And then Eddie leaned forward and brushed his nose along her jaw line before leaving a small, slow kiss on the skin under her jaw.

Patricia struggled to get her words out. "You…you didn't do that to her though…right?"

Eddie chuckled and she felt his voice on her skin. He kissed her neck this time and shook his head. "Nope. Only for you."

She smiled then and watched as he leaned away, staring at her with eyes full of so many different words that were left unsaid, and he smiled back at her.

"It's you, Yacker. There's only you."

Patricia smiled just a little bit wider. "Really?"

He nodded a few times, gently, and then leaned forward again. "Really."

"Well then…I guess I feel that way too." Before giving him a chance to reply, she leaned in and kissed him, her lips slightly parted. It was just one kiss because, as much as they wanted to keep going, they knew it was time to go to school.

But just before Patricia walked off ahead of him, he grabbed her hand, stopping her from going any further.

She turned to face him.  
>"This lunchtime? Down in the basement?" Eddie asked, a different glint in his eyes than usual. A glint that suggested that finally, after three very long days, they could do more than just play card games down in that basement.<p>

Patricia shot him the same look, her eyes sparkling, and she nodded. "It's a date, Weasel." And then she walked away, and Eddie stared at her longingly. He'd missed kissing her.

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><p>The supply closet seemed different this lunchtime.<p>

Maybe it was the fact that they now knew how they felt about each other, and everything _meant _something now. Or maybe it was something else.  
>But whatever it was, it felt <em>good<em>.

Patricia felt a lot more comfortable with him now; now that she wasn't hiding anything from him. He knew exactly how she felt. After all, she _had_ laid it all out on the line about how she was jealous of Clara, and how she was sort of in love with Eddie…

"I've missed this," Eddie said, pulling away from her lips for a moment and resting his forehead on hers.

Patricia played with the hem of his shirt collar and smiled, her eyes still closed. "Me too."

"I like knowing how you feel," he kissed her on the lips quickly. "Please tell me how you feel more often."

Grinning and shaking her head, she pulled him in by the fabric of his shirt and kissed him again.

"You're so…"

"What?" He mumbled.

"…Cheesy."

"How am I cheesy!?" Eddie pulled away slightly, his eyes now open and his mouth turned up in to a playful grin.

"What you just said – _'please tell me how you feel more often' _– is cheesy."

Eddie shook his head. "You are unbelievable."

"Oh, come on, Eddie. You knew I hated cheesy stuff right from the start."

"Whatever, Yacker." He scoffed playfully, and Patricia smiled up at him, a familiar glint in her eyes. Eddie took the hint and leaned in to kiss her again, backing her up against the wall this time.

"Ow!" She complained against his lips, hitting him on the arm. "That hurt, Weasel."

Eddie didn't reply; he was too busy kissing her now-open lips. She kissed him back, of course, and brought her hands up in to his hair.

"Mm…" he mumbled when her fingers ran through his brown locks, putting his hand on her waist and bringing himself closer.

They had spent so long just being stupid with each other, but now everything was out on the table and both of them just seemed to enjoy it a heck of a lot more.  
>So now they kissed like they needed it more than anything; like they both needed to feel as close to each other as possible because they couldn't stand the thought of letting each other get away again. They needed to feel as close as they could just to make sure that they were still there; that this was all really happening.<p>

And that's how Mara and Joy found them two minutes later when they walked in; Patricia's hands tangled in Eddie's hair, one of Eddie's hands on her waist and the other on her neck.

They had forgotten to lock the door.

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><p><strong>AN: **_Ugh, okay, I'm so sorry this chapter took forever! And it probably wasn't particularly worth the wait either:') If you saw my tweet about this story then you'll know why it took a while! _

_Still, I hope you enjoyed it, despite it taking a really long time to be posted! _

_Do let me know what you think :) I love your reviews for this story so much._

_Love :* xxx_


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